According to Jackass, big business is too big. People with big bank accounts have too much. People who are too heavy are too big for society. So why doesn’t he feel the same way about government?

It’s the health nut philosophy. Fat people are unattractive so the obvious solution is to trim the fat. If you’re too big, you’ll fail. All kinds of things are going on inside you that you can’t control. Never mind that health nuts spend all kinds of money trying to stave off their inevitable death. They don’t notice that they are miserable regimenting their lives out of fear.

And yet, that doesn’t apply to the body politic for the Health Nazi in Chief. The government is supposedly efficient with money, even though many government programs exist because the private sector alternatives were too efficiently stingy with money. The reason people love government programs is because of their ability to become bloated, indiscriminate money distribution machines.

Too big to fail is a misnomer in business. It’s like terrorism or mutually assured destruction. It’s an idea that is hardly imagined. If it does happen, destruction follows. The only barrier that keeps it away is fear. Any business can fail and a big one can take down a government trying to fund its demise.

The free market is a grand experiment, but there are limitations. When I learned about NGOs, organizations as powerful as entire nations, a little bit of nationalist pride died inside. The primary threat to capitalism is communism. A business with enough market share is effectively communism. Frankly, any business large enough is.

The government should be dealing with bite-sized pieces. Smaller government is part of it. The other part is denying the kind of mega-mergers that turn businesses into international powers and good old fashioned trust busting.

So, Mr. Jackass, you keep smoking those cigarettes and let those free radicals roam around while you bitch about super sizing. And keep blaming the rich while the US government accumulates more debt than all the business profits in this country combined. Don’t worry about those falling approval numbers, you’re too big in the eyes of the media to fail.